I will never...

...Have better in laws,

...Drink hot chocolate with a better view
...Eat more than I did New Year's weekend,
...be good at nertz,
...laugh harder than did when Matt gave Fred the Heimlich in a game of charades,
....forget New Year's 2012 with the in- laws (or as Fred says "the out-laws")

Favorite moments of Christmas 2011

* Watching Darren flirt while he is supposed to be singing in the Christmas program at school

*Trying to take a presentable christmas picture
*Watching my kids enthusiastic performances in the Nativity story
*Continually capturing Cordon's fake smile
*Knowing Darren still believes!
* Watching Cam literally beg on his knees for a humpback whale

*Having an infant find joy and not terror in Santa Claus.

*Having a packed house for Christmas
*Watching Grammy read book after book about sea life
*Mary teaching big J how to go for broke at spaids
*Sisters!
*That *%#!*^$ Shark
*Static electricity
*The reindeer that got left behind
Other favorite memories not caught on film include but not limited to;

* My dad teaching Cordon how to get all of your Christmas shopping done on Christmas eve.

*Ruth's Chris Sweet Potato Casserole

*Taking a nap, actually many naps. Love having extra hands around.

*However, we have no picture of it but my all time favorite memory of Christmas 2011 was bringing to fruition the dream of a Little 3 year old boy uniting with his humpback whale. Thank you Santa Claus.

The first

Just after I had Darren and I was still in the hospital I tried so hard to take care of my first born babe. I didn't let him out of my sight. When I was delirious I would not let the nurses take him I stayed up and listened to every sound he made. Then I got home and tried even harder. I changed his diaper like clock work whether he needed it or not. I sterilized and sanitized. Any little noise I considered a call for help. And then later when he got a little older any bump or bruise was treated as a mortal injury. I worked so hard with my first born and I worked so hard being a first time mom. Was that wrong? Was it overreacting? A lot of first time moms get made fun of for doing that. It is called learning. Darren got the most care out of all of my babes but I wouldn't say he got the best.

Because I stayed up all night many nights with Darren I now know the difference in the sounds of coughing and choking. Im expert (thought not as good as Lance) at determining superficial wounds and wounds that need stitches. I can tell you how much toothpaste a child does not have to eat when you call Poison control (as well as some other household items), and now without fail I can tell by ear if scissors are cutting something appropriate or not. It is all because with a first born you check double check and triple check and everything is new and everything is a big deal. As it should be I say to all first time moms because that is how you learn. You have to learn the difference between a big deal and something that is not so much somehow. So sterilize that binky and dress that babe in 5 layers because that is what you need to do...right now.

Darren turned seven today. That is why I am writing this. I have never had a seven year old before and I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to deal with seven year old issues and I know I will overreact, over teach, and over do just about everything that has to do with Darren being seven. He is different now. He is a kid. Not a little kid. A full on kid and that is new and scary to me. All of a sudden the days when I freaked out about him not sharing or if he pees the bed don't seem so bad. Now I have to explain what those words mean that he hears on the playground and thinking about when we should have "the talk." First doesn't always mean best, it just means first.

Darren always wants to be first at everything and being oldest he usually is. From dawn to dusk he wants to be first to wake up, first to get done eating, first up the stairs, you name it he has to be first. There is glory is being first but now if there is anything I could teach him is let others go first, learn from them and then be the best. Be the best that you can be because you were able to learn from those that had to be first. But when you have to be first do it the very best that you can so that you can learn how to do it better.

Unfortunately, Im not really talking about doing anything specific. Just talking about being seven. Because he's never been seven and I've never been mom to a seven year old. I know this is a lot of rambling but I guess that is what happens when you don't know what you are doing and you don't know what you are talking about. So lift up your glass of sparkling cider and hear is to overdoing it and learning from it the best we can. Cheers!

It's tough being a kid

A while ago Darren and I made some scrumptious deep dish brownies. These are some super thick fudgey made from scratch brownies. The next morning before school Darren wanted one for breakfast. Of course, I said no way and made him eat a healthier breakfast before he left for school. To say the least he was bummed. After, I dropped him off I came home and cut out a piece of brownie and popped it in my mouth while fixing myself a bowl of cereal. As I did this I thought to myself "You know sometimes it is really hard to be a kid."

It has been a long while since I have had someone dictating my every move. And I really just don't realize from a kid perspective how hard it can be. If I want to eat a brownie, I eat it. If I want to rent a movie, I go rent it. If Im not tired I stay up. And as much as I want my kids to learn to make their own choices they are my responsibility and ultimately subject to my will.

As I raise my kids I often think "Boy, wouldn't it be nice if a plate of food was just placed in front of me." or "Man, I wish someone would make me take a nap." But then again I don't think about when that food was placed in front of me I would be forced to eat it whether or not I was hungry and whether or not I even liked it. Same for sleeping. Would I want to be forced to take a nap at the will of someone else whether or not I was tired. I am not saying I am going to change, I am just saying it has got to be tough.

Kids don't understand that they don't yet have the knowledge or judgement to make all of their own decisions. They just know that they don't get to make them and someone else is telling them what to do. And no matter how much I explain to my six year old a brownie is not a great way to start his day of being bombarded with knowledge and learning he still wants it and there is nothing he can do about it.

Another thing I have noticed is that my children's emotions are only skin deep. Their world falls apart much more quickly than an adult. For instance my three year old fell in LOVE with a toy humpback whale at a local store. He literally cried for days when he couldn't take it home. And not the whining annoying cry but a you-took-my-best-friend-away kind of cry. He asked for that humpback whale EVERYDAY for 2 months before he got it for Christmas and could not have been happier. I can't help but feeling bad for making him live with a broken heart for 2 months though.

Emotional meltdowns. Has your kid ever had one or more, or one or more per day for that matter? A few days ago I got to witness Darren try to beat the stuffing out of his winter coat because I guess he didn't know what else to do with himself. He was sledding and kept going off the trails and hitting the trees instead of hitting the jump and couldn't figure out how to fix the problem. Not to mention he was tired from staying up late the last two nights over New Year's. So watching him tear off his coat and stomp on it, then fall on his knees and start punching it all while he is next to tears of frustration. I have to admit it was quite amusing to watch him beat up his coat and when he looked up at me I just said, "keep going. If it makes you feel better, keep going." He looked at me astonished like I should be scolding him instead. Then he said "It doesn't make me feel better" and then he walked away. By the time he got back to the house he was fine and even better after a good nights sleep. But I just can't help but thinking that even though my children have it pretty good, It is still not easy being a kid.

My boys forced into the Christmas pageant

The scent of a Cordon

I remember in high school that some of the girls would buy their boyfriends cologne, I guess, as a way to mark their territory. Everytime they smelled that scent they would think of their boyfriend and even would spray their pillows so they could think of him at night. I thought that was actually a pretty cool thing to do but there were two problems; I never had a steady boyfriend to buy cologne and I didn't really like the smell of any cologne I had ever smelled.

Well a few years ago I decided that now I had a steady man in my life I would try out this experiment. I went to the mall and tested almost every scent until they were all just a mixed up mess in my nostrils. I gave it to Lance for some holiday and was sure that everytime I smelled that smell I would think of Lance and get all googly eyed. Well I still get googly eyed but that scent was not doing it for me and not sure that I wanted to think of Lance every time that it hit my nose.

Well a few days ago just as we were leaving on vacation for a couple days I hear a blood curdling scream and see Cordon, with pants covering his face, aimlessly running around the living room. I grab him and find out he had sprayed this cologne directly in his eyes. Lance took him to the bathroom to flush out his eyes while our drama king Cordon kept exclaiming "This is the worst day of my life" and "I wish it was the future so my eyes didn't hurt anymore." Anyway, soon enough Cordon was feeling better and we were on our way to our vacation destination. Two hours of sitting in the car in a cloud of Allure for men just about made my head spin. But at least now I don't think that scent will make me think of Lance anymore but instead a hysterical kid with pants over his head and subsequently a long very aromatic car ride. I retired that bottle to the garbage can and decided I very much like the smell of Irish Spring better anyway.

New year, new post

So this year's new years resolution is to document our lives a bit better. I am constantly asking Lance "which kid used to say this?" or "How old was so and so when they learned to do this?" or even "what did we do for Christmas the year we were married?" These are all things I thought I would never forget and yet I have or it's a blur.

Im not a hand written journal person that just won't happen so I am going to try to keep it up on here.

And a few nights ago confirmed this very thought of documenting.

Our household was going through the flu. A very quick flu but it only hit at night and each night was a new kid. Well, the other night Darren got it and I made a bed for him on the couch, tucked him in, put on a movie and set a big bowl right by his side. Then I made a bed for me on the couch right by him to help him during what I new would be a long night.

He woke up periodically and would throw up in his bowl while I would rub his back and tell him he was doing great getting the barf in the bowl. And in between these times I would also stand over the garbage disposal and be sick also. It was a long night and we were both miserable. However, the next morning Darren was miraculously healed and was going 100% again. I was still recovering but Darren took a second from his day and without prompting from anyone he said to me, "Thanks for staying up with me last night mom." Big deal right. Well not from this six year old boy and not to me. It was a sincere, out of the blue thank you and even though I was not feeling 100% he made me feel like a 100% mom.

So these are the little things I want to remember. Because Im sure I won't soon forget that long miserable night but I really don't ever want to forget that my six year old appreciated me spending it with him.