The first

Just after I had Darren and I was still in the hospital I tried so hard to take care of my first born babe. I didn't let him out of my sight. When I was delirious I would not let the nurses take him I stayed up and listened to every sound he made. Then I got home and tried even harder. I changed his diaper like clock work whether he needed it or not. I sterilized and sanitized. Any little noise I considered a call for help. And then later when he got a little older any bump or bruise was treated as a mortal injury. I worked so hard with my first born and I worked so hard being a first time mom. Was that wrong? Was it overreacting? A lot of first time moms get made fun of for doing that. It is called learning. Darren got the most care out of all of my babes but I wouldn't say he got the best.

Because I stayed up all night many nights with Darren I now know the difference in the sounds of coughing and choking. Im expert (thought not as good as Lance) at determining superficial wounds and wounds that need stitches. I can tell you how much toothpaste a child does not have to eat when you call Poison control (as well as some other household items), and now without fail I can tell by ear if scissors are cutting something appropriate or not. It is all because with a first born you check double check and triple check and everything is new and everything is a big deal. As it should be I say to all first time moms because that is how you learn. You have to learn the difference between a big deal and something that is not so much somehow. So sterilize that binky and dress that babe in 5 layers because that is what you need to do...right now.

Darren turned seven today. That is why I am writing this. I have never had a seven year old before and I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to deal with seven year old issues and I know I will overreact, over teach, and over do just about everything that has to do with Darren being seven. He is different now. He is a kid. Not a little kid. A full on kid and that is new and scary to me. All of a sudden the days when I freaked out about him not sharing or if he pees the bed don't seem so bad. Now I have to explain what those words mean that he hears on the playground and thinking about when we should have "the talk." First doesn't always mean best, it just means first.

Darren always wants to be first at everything and being oldest he usually is. From dawn to dusk he wants to be first to wake up, first to get done eating, first up the stairs, you name it he has to be first. There is glory is being first but now if there is anything I could teach him is let others go first, learn from them and then be the best. Be the best that you can be because you were able to learn from those that had to be first. But when you have to be first do it the very best that you can so that you can learn how to do it better.

Unfortunately, Im not really talking about doing anything specific. Just talking about being seven. Because he's never been seven and I've never been mom to a seven year old. I know this is a lot of rambling but I guess that is what happens when you don't know what you are doing and you don't know what you are talking about. So lift up your glass of sparkling cider and hear is to overdoing it and learning from it the best we can. Cheers!